Hello Parkinson’s Disease.
Although you entered my life suddenly
I will try to treat you with respect, not fear.
Let us behave towards each other kindly
Like an old friend one holds dear.
I remember the day we officially met
At an appointment with my neurologist.
I came calm and prepared
with many questions written on a list.
I sat and smiled without a care
until the diagnosis came
seemingly out of thin air.
The doctor droned on and on
but I barely understood a word
as the harrowing news he was relaying
deep inside me struck a terrified chord.
I need someone to hold my hand and explain
if I am somehow responsible or to blame.
A cloud of sadness envelops me.
Why did this disease develop in me?
At doctor visits when I was little
I received stickers, balls, and balloons that glitter.
I wish I had received them today
instead of harrowing news, that made me bitter.
The doctor continues to speak
until finally he realizes what his words have done.
Medical terms I can barely follow
make my pulse race and my heart thump
deep in my throat’s hollow.
I am too upset to speak.
I can barely swallow.
Tears slowly roll down my cheeks.
I start to wonder what my future will be.
Will I tremble?
Will I shake?
Will I be able to paint?
Will I be able to bake without any complaint?
Could I satisfy my stomach when it hungrily rumbles?
Will I be able to walk without any stumbles?
Will I be able to hear the so sweet
pitter patter of tiny baby feet?
More tears slide down my cheeks
but these tears are different.
Their source is the anger that now nestles in my brain.
My face is wet, caused by tears of anger
and tears of pain.
I want to go home and nestle
in a pile of my favorite things
that are incredibly special.
Play with my collection of rings.
Jump up and jump down.
Eat a box load of cookies.
Look in the mirror, smile, and frown
and sip a cup of hot tea.
My neurologist tries to give me comfort.
He advises that I not be too sad.
I give an impatient snort.
He adds, “Try not to be too mad.”
How can I be jolly?
My heart skips a beat
as the doctor warns me it would be a folly
to give into my emotions and allow defeat.
Medicine and DBS may hold Parkinson’s at bay.
Someday soon there may be a cure.
For this news we should daily pray.
That Parkinson’s will not cause suffering anymore.
This hopeful view takes away some of the sting.
It makes me smile and my heart begin to sing.
The doctor concludes with
AT LEAST PARKINSON’S IS NOT TERMINAL!
Parkinson’s, we may be together now
but hopefully soon there will be
all kinds of new successful treatments
that will make you hurriedly flee.
GOODBYE PARKINSON’S DISEASE
Adieu
The author, Lee Weisbord, is a member of a Creative Writing for Parkinson’s group in New York.
