What happens when you find yourself in a place where you struggle to find some semblance of your former self? The person staring back at you in the mirror looks like you, but nothing about her feels like you.
What has altered your universe? Why are you different? Is it medicine changes, side effects, or Parkinson’s progression? While that answer may never be clear, it is crystal clear that you are not the person you used to be. The truth is that she’s been gone for a long time. You redefined yourself, and you are a warrior.
But the warrior is weary. The fighter is down, and the fighter is me. My hand clutches the white towel and raises it high, but I can’t let go. I will rest, but I will never quit.
While part of my struggle stemmed from changes in medications, that was not the sole cause. I had to choose to get off the struggle bus. I began by trying to be grateful and changing things that I could control, but it had been weeks without a “true Lori” sighting. I turned to writing, but it was pointless. I couldn’t do it. Anything I wrote seemed fake – almost hypocritical.
I started searching for inspiration to find myself again. It wasn’t easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. I needed to start somewhere. I explored PMD Alliance’s video library and found “Gratitude, Grounding and the Grit for Living Now.” It wasn’t a magic fix, but it did give straightforward and practical insights.
Some of my favorite highlights:
- Gratitude is healthy. One way to practice gratitude is the five-finger rule: put your hand on your heart and say five things you are grateful for each day.
- Grit is defined as …” perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Grit entails working strenuously towards challenges maintaining effort and interest over years despite failure, adversity, and plateaus in progress.”
- Start a happiness jar. Each week write a good thing that happened in your life and put it in the jar. When the holidays arrive next year, read them to remember the amazing year you had and plan for the next one.
Summer vacations are fast approaching. There will be times when we cannot put on a brave face – and it’s okay to retreat and recharge – but don’t lose sight of the pursuit of joy! A fun place to start is your wardrobe and your hair. Buy crazy pants and experiment with your hair – it’s fun! Put on loud music, face the unknown, and dance like no one is watching.
Until next time, remember…you are brave…you are strong…you are ENOUGH, just as you are.
